Today was a big pile of suck. I woke up after a fitful night's sleep, already running late for jury duty and whatever was going to happen there. I turned on my computer to print out some crossword puzzles to take with me, and it's a damn good thing I did because I saw some messages from Bank of America about "suspicious charges" which I investigated right away, which were indeed suspicious. Some person tried to buy anti-virus software on my debit card like 6 times, and I received the confirmation email to my GMAIL with my NAME on it in GERMAN so how the fuck did that happen? Everything's okay now but I had to cancel my bank card and I'm probably never using it for anything except withdrawing money as of now!

So I was late for jury duty, went the wrong way when I got out of the subway station, got in there like 45 minutes late, hungry and tired. And there were people in there with laptops, and it would have been nice if the jury information website told jurors that the court has wifi, so bring 'em in! I'll bring mine tomorrow. The good news is that we got out at 12:30 but we might not be so lucky tomorrow because we were informed that late June and early July are busy months, as a lot of cases are being crammed in in preparation for when a lot of the judges go away in August. Swell! Tomorow I will have computer, approved food, and a good night's sleep. I just hope I don't get called to serve.

I wound up going into the office anyway because I would have felt guilty otherwise, and I made it through the day and through my class at night, which was pretty fun. My finished project definitely wasn't as bad as some others, so that's always comforting. I had the advantage of using a background that took up a lot of space and was a really defining feature of the piece.

Tomorrow I'll find out if I lost any weight, and Wednesday I'll finally get my hair cut, I hope. I still wish it was football season, but you can't always get what you want, huh?

The cool thing that SKINS does is this- they wait until the end of the series to do a formal names-with-faces credits in a little closing montage for the season finale, and it's quite affecting. I don't know if it would work so well on American television. Gossip Girl could do it, maybe, but I doubt it.

Best closing credits shot ever, by FAR:


I want to know how they got her hair so big.

It was supposed to rain for 5 days straight starting Thursday, but now it's Saturday and sunny, go figure. I'm too exhausted to go enjoy it so I'm being lazy on the couch and catching up on the TV that I missed and watching Bill Hader interviews on Hulu. I gotta find me a guy like that.

Boy-a-palooza is almost over, unfortunately. I had MS and MD on Thursday and Friday and my dearest darlingest is doing a final night in the city tonight before heading out to parts unknown, yet again. So I guess MD thinks we're close enough now that he can tell me how he's going to ask out some girl that he randomly met at the subway station the other night. Great!! When do I get to be the girl who is the object of affection instead of hearing about the plans? Never, I guess. Not that I want it and not that I'm trying, but it annoys me every once in a while. And then I realized this weekend that I've been putting both Ms on such a pedestal that every time they say something that is normal twenty-something boy, I get offended. Like, calm down, girly. They're entitled. They're lovely, but not perfect. And also, it's not as if their comments were anything totally gross or anything I've never heard before. It's the same kind of comments that the guys I've know forever would say, and it would be nothing.

But again, I figure if MD goes and gets himself a girlfriend, I get thrown to the side for the most part and don't get to see him until the other one is in town again. But again, don't let thoughts get the best of you, girly. He's not marrying this girl yet. He's not totally dating her yet. Maybe they'll go out a few times, maybe for a few years. She was really cool, actually, and as I've told myself before- he's really effing cute, I'm surprised that he doesn't have a girlfriend. Maybe he doesn't want to be bothered.

Hearing boys to "boy voice" is always really funny.

SO yeah, I'm into big earrings again:


Listened to a lot of Concretes today. Perfect Spring music, I'm telling you.

I registered for "digital art basics" or something of that ilk at SVA. Four-hour course for 8 Mondays, but I'm going to finally learn Photoshop and Illustrator and maybe InDesign in the fall, if all goes well. I think I might be good at this stuff. I'm nervous but excited.

I fucking caved: twitter.com/foreign_spell

Honestly, it's mostly b/c I want to follow Spencer Smith's posts. I'm so fucking lame sometimes, I swear. But it could be worse.

So I went home last night, and my bureau is now gone, along with most of my furniture. And it's not priority #1 right now to find me new stuff, which is fine, but it's kind of funny, the way things look right now, because it's just constant piles of everything.

( see, here's the evidence )

BONUS ugly North Jersey house!


I wish I could show you all the house with like, the decorative fruit panels on the front, but we didn't pass it.

I go...back to black to back to freaking out. I think I'm maybe giving MD too much credit here, but part of me thinks that maybe he thinks I was weird the other night because I like him or something, which is honestly not true. And I wish we knew each other better so I could clarify this. B/c maybe we were going to go to some other show this Sunday but that was before Thursday night happened and I have no clue what the deal is now. I tend to over-analyze everything, but I don't think guys in general over-analyze to that extent, so I'm probably working myself up for nothing, but again, I'd be really sad to lose this little thing that we have going, because I think it's good. I'm so, so bad at this stuff...

I haven't heard back from him about Sunday, and I guess if I don't hear from him by Friday, I'll try a text, but with him, sometimes I'll get an answer within minutes, and sometimes I won't at all. He's really odd like that. My mind goes to the "I hope he's not avoiding me place", but I did get texts on Friday morning so I don't even know and everything is so tenuous and I'm just..ugh.

Right now, I'm all about: Kelly Clarkson, Josh Ritter, pining for spring, headbands, lots of bracelets, David Cook & BOUH, and maybe Idol. I saw the dog from down the hall again last night which made my day as usual. His owner was all, "I can put you in touch with a breeder! In Queens!" Hold on, lady. Not ready for that quite yet. I'll put up with your fluffball and dream of one of my own, and when it's warm and I can go watch the dogs at the park.

I listened to The Smiths and The Jam all day. I really f-ing love The Smiths and I always forget that, and I love how sassy Morrissey gets in some place and just...typical me, typical me I started something. I want to blast it. I'm still on MD-music-sabbatical. Cracked? Sure.

So, let's be honest- I'm busy catching up on the contents of my DVR (yep, still in pajamas at 8pm- what's up, weekends!!!), and I'm rolling through "Scrubs," and they used "Innocent," over the ending montage for the last episode...damn you, David Cook (the OLP version, obv). Did I squeal out loud? Fuck and yes.

Tomorrow is "South Pacific," which I know nothing about except for I think "Strangers in the Night" and that "Bali Hai" song, so we'll see how that goes. The only musical I really haven't liked is "42nd Street," so I'm going into this one with optimism.

I finally got a chance to see "Blow-Up" on the train to DC, after admiring the poster for so long, and the movie was...not good. It was totally fucking weird and crazy and I thought maybe it was some psychological mind-fuck and I missed the deeper meaning, so I wikipedia-d the film, and nope, I didn't miss anything. It's just a weird crazy movie. I don't know if I want to even buy the poster now. I feel like that's kind of cheap- buying the poster even though the movie pissed me off. But it's coooool.


I re-watched "Silence of the Lambs" and it's really a pretty faithful translation of book to movie, but I think the book is better, mostly because as with any book to movie, there are details in the book that cannot be translated/aren't worth it. One total nitpick- Jodie Foster is wearing nail polish in a few scenes, which is ridiculous. An FBI trainee wouldn't be wearing nail polish, what with the shooting range excercises and obstacle courses and all of the physical work required. And Clarice Starling is a serious character, so it's not as if she'd be wearing the polish to be quietly subversive. I mean, it's nail polish- it just comes off! I doubt Foster had a million fancy events going on during the filming of the movie.

Then I made the mistake of wikipedia-ing the other Thomas Harris books, and I wish I hadn't, because I don't like where he took the character of Clarice after "Silence." Shudder. I'll just pretend that the ending of "Silence" is the real ending, keep it secret, keep it safe.

...and the world comes tumbling down - part III

We're going to 4-day weeks, except me and some principals. Fuckfuckfuck. Because we lost a job in Brooklyn. The banks have to start lending again soon or else we're going to have to lay off most of the staff, probably. Something's got to give, here... the government has to figure some shit out or else... I am in a better position than most and I am thankful for that, but my heart breaks for the people supporting families and mortgages and important, grown-up stuff. I'm just me, and I have parents. At least I can take comfort in that I'll hopefully be one of the last to go, if it comes to that.

Think positive: scandinaviandiscoadventure;scandinaviandiscoadventure. Lovely boys. Super Bowl. And a couple of days off next week. I wish it wasn't for a funeral, but life is funny like that sometimes.

( xoxo, Gossip Girl ranting )

MD is so fucking slyly charming, I can't stand it. I keep thinking of stuff he says and getting all giddy. And I'm in awe of how comfortable I am around someone I really don't know all that well. I can actually look him in the eye, and I have a lot of trouble in that area.

Did y'all know that Breathe Right strips are $15?? What the hell is the deal with that exorbitant pricing?? There's a new fancy Duane Reade down the block that just opened. It's really nice, with the new logo and everything, and even new bags. So I now live within 1.5 blocks of TWO DRs, but only one is open 24 hours. Oh, gotta love the DR folks, buying up real estate like madmen.

It has become clearer then ever that I need to read "Slaughterhouse Five." The book I'm currently reading is depressing me a little (so why'd you buy it, dumbass; I didn't know!), so I think I'm going to join the library and actually take it out the old-fashioned way, only I think I'm going to be temped to underline a lot...I'll just carry some post-its around with me or something.

I'm 98% sure that parts of that dumb looking "Mall Cop" movie were filmed at MY mall. What's up, Garden State Plaza!! It's an improvement over "Mallrats" which was supposed to take place in Jersey but filmed in Minnesota, of all places. Hmph. (it predated the Mall of America, so that's no excuse)

Precious-face (sorry, expatiates , I really like that adjective), sweetie-heart, guys make my life. MD and I were maybe going to see some exhibit in Brooklyn over the weekend, and I now know better than to expect an actual follow-up from him, so I wasn't surprised not to hear from him on Sat. or Sun., but he did have the decency to send me a message today saying sorry, maybe we'll go this weekend. Not that I believe THAT will happen, but it was nice of him to acknowledge his flakiness. I did tell him that I'm available for outings other than concerts, so hopefully he'll take me up on that offer.

Blair and Chuck slay me and slay me again. So do Sid & Tony ("I always loved you best,"- sigh). Finished watching "Skins"; cried. Really just a well done show on so many levels. So different when compared to American teen TV.

Stayed home sick today, well done. I couldn't face going to work and sitting there and being miserable with everyone buzzing around me. I feel much better now, so I should be fresh as a daisy tomorrow, give or take a miserable headache and some occasional sneezes. I just hope it doesn't get any worse.

I keep getting "Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes" running through my head. I hopehopehope that they open the next tour the way the album starts, with the Costello-esque intro and then the big, rocking, launch-in.

Mike, last night: "You have a coffee table book about Chanel under a book about hardcore. That's pretty much you."

And then later: "...and you watch football. That's the other piece." Yep, that's it...perfect summation. That's the way I like it. But it's also why I feel like I've never fit in anywear...just flit around.

I'm still giddy about THEM and just nice, decent, intelligent, thoughtful, sweetie-heart guys that I didn't think existed, which is just something I like to say, because most of my male friends are lovely, but these two are like another dimension. I think it's because none of my friends are into music stuff, so it's really nice when I get to share that with someone, or two someones.

I'm going to try to go back to Weight Watchers this Tuesday. I bet the meeting will be filled with post-New Years "I'm going to lose weight this year" types of people. Of course, that means that Lawrence will call me on Tuesday and say, "Let's get dumplings!" and I won't say no, and we'll go and it will be lovely, because soup dumplings are one of life's greatest pleasures, I think. Or maybe he won't, and I'll go, and I'll get motivated again, and I'll be thin by my birthday and I won't get disgusted when I look in the mirror and I'll feel amazing.

Patrick Stump wearing lipstick and rouge? No, no, no. And why would you change it to Dr. Benzedrine from Mr. Benzedrine?? Silly boys. I don't like the way the characters matched up for that video, nope. Seems counter-productive, unless they do pop up from time to time.

Happy New Year, all. ♥♥♥♥ Wishes for a healthy, happy, safe 2009...

For me, definitely an improvement over last year's events, the major reason being I was not getting hit on by MS's friend.

Good:
-The Mikes are lovely, charming, decent guys, and I wish we could hang out every weekend and have drinks and discuss music and whatever else. The final thought on MD is that I do not LIKE him in that way, but I guess we're legitimately friends now, which is more than I could have asked for a year ago. And I'll always find him really attractive, which is a bonus. And I think if he did decide he liked me in that way, I would be able to tell.
-They liked my apartment
-I didn't drink too much or get sick.
-I snapped out of "anxiety attack mode"
-I like dancing far more than I'll actually admit

Bad:
-coldcoldcold
-the band we went to see played only for like 50 minutes without an encore
-we got ditched by our other friend at the end of the night (consensus is she was drunk and it didn't cross her mind to call one of us or like, pick up her phone after the show)

So now I'm left with a couple of mix CDs and most of a bottle of whiskey. I'm heading to NJ this afternoon, which means I have to get up at 6:30 on Friday morning and do the old Commuter Shuffle, which sucks, but what are you gonna do.

More fun with scanners-

This is how we used to be (age 2):

( and the rest- )

New journal layout- strawberry/watermelon for the dead of winter. Which means that this is about the time I start painting my toenails "Strawberry Margarita," because the name is awesome and it always makes me smile when it's 20 degrees out.

I'm finally having better dreams about MD, when I least expect it. I've had 2 in a row, one last night which wasn't bad. He kept trying to show me the pictures he had of me on his phone and every time I got close to looking at them, something would interrupt us. But there was much flirtation going on. Yay, dreams that will never, ever happen!! Maybe I can start dreaming about Patrick Stump now, huh?

Saw DK last night and her awesome friends, which was double-awesome. This one friend of hers is pretty cute...everyone got very, very drunk and passed out around 4am. Lame! I was more tired than I thought, though. I slept for basically 12 hours straight. But yeah, wouldn't kick this guy out of bed. In his drunkenness, he blew me a kiss goodnight, which was kind of charming. Shut up- I'm easily charmed. Her friends are so lovely and inclusive- I love it. Too bad they all live far away.

Today's goals are to paint nails, track down the Panic DVD, and GO GIANTS.

NYC snow is poo-ey, for starters. But we actually got snow when they said we were going to get snow. I don't quite trust the AMS, you know? Because they always psych us up for some giant storm and then it's, "Oh, it's gonna be rain instead!" and whatnot. But it did snow yesterday and I turned on the local news to get the temperature before I left for work and it was 36, so I wore my regular jacket but as soon as I got outside, I realized I should have worn my warmer jacket. Whoops. I was already late, so I couldn't run back. And then when RK and I went to lunch, I wasn't expecting it to be so bad, but it was cold and wet and snowy and my stupid jacket just absorbs moisture because it's not meant to be worn in the snow. My feeling is- at least we still have snow. The day we don't get snow in December is going to be very sad indeed, so I find it comforting to know that yes, it still does get that cold.

My shitty party planning skills peaked last night- the holiday party is game, set, match. It was fine, low-key, barely anyone brought their spouses, which kind of sucked because we had all of this extra food and not a lot of room for it. And my firm totally hates salad. We had two big bowls of salad and I think 1 person out of 40-something touched it. We like alcohol better. Afterwards, we went to a bar nearby and some people who haven't been coming to the past happy hours showed up, which was cool. And we got to see one of our bosses really, really, drunk. Scary, slurring the words, drunk. So unnerving! But kind of hilarious.

And of course, that one co-worker who I had a crush on (the one who's leaving next week) was extra super charming, as he is, when he's had a few drinks. I'm still thrilled that he's going to take this amazing-sounding job, but he will be missed. He's just a totally different person than anyone else I've known. As different as my friend are, individually, there are certain tenets that they all seem to share, but this guy is very different, in terms of beliefs and general outlook on life, so it's cool to get that other view on things.

Apparently, most of my office thinks I'm Jewish. I don't mind, and I understand why, but I'll never NOT be amused by people's assumptions.

I don't know what these two dudes are doing:


This dude, though? His hair is fucking tremendous, nothing more, nothing less. And it looks so soft!



Quick Hits: Thumbs down for unexpected moshing and for me seeming to lose my concert tolerance (wtf?), and for the boys having not rehearsed any of the new songs other than Suitehearts and Cooperstown and I Don't Care. Also thumbs down to the two really short, squeaky girls, who proceeded to sing all of the lyrics they knew (most of 'em) in annoying, loud, squeaky voices. However: thumbs way up for Patrick talking on stage and being adorable. And for me having a delayed reaction to Pete saying that he has to be a Cowboys fan or else he'll get his teeth knocked out at the Thanksgiving table. And for seeing Alex Suarez.

I'm always late to the party on like, everything, so it's really weird watching the Folie a Deux reviews roll in and seeing everyone's take on this band. Predictably, some of the lesser known musical outlets and weird online magazines that no one's ever heard of are being snobby and not giving a shit, which is fine, but it's not album that certain publications' readerships will buy, y'know? It'll just be like, "Oh, the new FOB album? They suck. And this review confirms it. Because this publication likes only Fleet Foxes and Fuck Buttons, as do I" or you know, something along those lines. As usual, that was not articulated correctly, but I think you get the point. Fleet Foxes- I do not like. It's pretty and all, but prolonged listening really makes them sound like My Morning Jacket, and the Jacket came first, and nothing will ever top the moment of me and my journalism partner driving back from a shoot, and hearing "Golden" on some indie music station as we flew over a particularly twisty part of the Mass Pike. I was so, so thrilled and giddy. (sidenote: this was probably the trip that, on the way there, she played me Fall Out Boy and I thought it totally sucked)

Oh, Pop Matters review? You can call Patrick's voice many things, but I wouldn't call it "nasal."
Oh, Patrick? Please get the sideburns back by the time y'all do the full scale FAD tour.

So these reviews are just really interesting. Some people are stil stuck on the weiner shots/Best Buy parking lot angle, and others have moved onto the meta-celebrity whatever thing, with Ashlee and all. I think some of these reviewers are looking for too much or trying to hard to say something. And then there are the ones who write stuff about the lyrics and what does "I will never believe in anything again" even MEAN and how can PETE WENTZ, the Emo King even say something like that...and I just want to be like, "Look, a lot of the younger generation got politically fed up over the last 8 years. We're entitled to say something about it. It's not going to come out like Dylan or Ginsberg, but it's going to come out somehow, and it shouldn't be questioned." Also, Patrick is adorable for claiming to be worried about the reception of some of the Bush-bashing lyrics. Baby, a lot of artists have gotten there first, and with much more vitriol.

And here's one from the "I'm a dork" file: I signed up as a commenter on NY Magazine's website so I could assert some low-level musical snobbery with regard to "Gossip Girl", and as it turns out, I managed to articulate something well enough to end up as the one comment listed before the jump to the rest of the post. I was reading said post and I started to read the comment that the editors selected and I'm thinking, this sounds familiar... I WROTE IT!! (cue mini-celebration at my desk) I keep saying, I wish I could write again, I wish. The truth is that if I really had to articulate some thoughts on a given matter, I probably could, and I could probably do it well. I keep selling myself short, I don't know why. Maybe for my next job I'll actually be in a position to write something, anything.

And also for my next job- I don't want to be in a position where I have to get anyone anything more than coffee or lunch (when I go to get my own). I'm so sick of people asking me for random shit, and because I'm an admin, that's my job. I want to be the person asking someone for paper or pens for once, yep. 

This dork would like to go see Fall Out Boy, thanks very much, but not at the fucking Nokia Theater. I get all possessive about being in NYC and how NYC should have absolutely everything because it's NYC, but I was looking forward to FOB's small show being at like, the Beacon Theater or something smaller, or like, Roseland. Fucking Nokia Theater? I...do not know that I want to do that. But I do want to see them live very badly. Ugh, the perils of liking bands that play big venues!! ( Look at this girl- always bitching about something.) I don't like Times Square. But I love Patrick so very much, and the rest of 'em. Of course the real question is- how does a non-OCK member get in on it. Yeah, I'll be stewing for a bit.

I ordered this off of Etsy, for my kitchen:


I ripped on Etsy for a while, and I still think that some of the stuff people make is absolute too-cute bullshit, but now I've got two sweet, food-themed artworks, and the prices were good, but who the fuck is going to buy a Karl Lagerfeld hand puppet? Why are you wasting your time doing that, maker? (Also, I totally swear too much. How did it come to this?) The other nice thing- it's really cute when the artists put in a little handwritten note of thanks. Makes us buyers feel all special-like.

My apartment is all stacked dishes and a pile on the table and laundry to be done. Hopefully, I will not waste tomorrow.

I could give two shits about the Redskins, but I almost burst into tears watching Clinton Portis carry out the flag with Sean Taylor's #21 on it before the game started. Apparently, they were very close. But above all, my Giants are NOT sucking, and totally a playoff lock, and they are a TEAM, and I love them, except for Bob Costas getting all righteous indignation about Plaxico Burress's stupidity. He got totally all "old white guy," grilling Tiki Barber about what purpose is served by an athlete bringing a loaded weapon into a club. Oh, Costas.

I can't believe I watched all of True Blood yesterday and Friday. And I'm not having vampire nightmares, which is cool- because the vampires on the show are not scary. But there doesn't appear to be a lot of fanfic out there. That's the next step, right? Go look for the fanfic once you fall in love with the show.

Today consisted of eating pizza, sleeping, and watching football. At this rate, I am never going to get to the Whitney, the NY Public Library or the FIT museum before the exhibits I want to see close. And forget about getting some frames or lamps- pfft. In terms of sitting on my ass, this has been a banner of an extended weekend.